


Anthem of Eternity

by vanitaslaughing



Series: Ignoct Week [7]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Advisor Noctis, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Not Happy, Prince Ignis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 19:17:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13665573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanitaslaughing/pseuds/vanitaslaughing
Summary: None of this would have happened if he were stronger. His father would still be alive. Lord Clarus would still be alive. Jared, Lunafreya, all those hunters who had gone and looked for royal tombs. It was a miracle that Noctis was alive, but the guilt hit Ignis so hard when his advisor had left his room that all he could do was sit there and weep silently.If only he hadn’t chosen Noctis as his advisor.





	Anthem of Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> i think i used up my Happy AUs And Stuff license. hello angst, my old friend.
> 
> Ignoct Week, Day 7 - "Always"

Perhaps it was silly to choose that one out of all the others. But something about that toothy grin had the prince’s heart skip a beat. That was a real smile in a gallery of fake ones. An earnest, wide and unrepentant bright smile, as if the prince was the very incarnation of sunshine.

Of course people protested when Prince Ignis proclaimed that Scientia’s nephew was to be his advisor.

It wasn’t like Ignis needed one. All of these boys and girls were smart, but none of them seemed to match him when it came to the important parts. Noctis Scientia hadn’t even attempted to test if the prince was as intelligent as they said. Instead he had started talking about how wonderful the Citadel was and how friendly everyone had been, even the king. It had caught Ignis off-guard, but eventually he had started laughing as Noctis continued talking about the silliest things. Nothing about the burden of royalty, the burden of having been chosen by the gods for whatever it was that they needed him to do.

Having Noctis around was like having a portable source of sunshine and happiness around, even if the boy was extraordinarily shy around other people. Bashful, even. Still, Ignis never once regretted his choice. An advisor needed to make certain that a king’s shortcomings were covered. His father’s advisor was a calculating woman, harsh and unfriendly where the king was friendly and forthcoming. Ruler and advisor were to be two sides of a coin, and Noctis seemed like the perfect foil to Ignis. Friendly and childish where the prince was cool and mature. Clumsy but determined to Ignis’ picture-perfect but deeply insecure.

* * *

“ _Oh, Ignis! Good morning!”_

“ _You’re up early this time, Noct.”_

_He laughs softly, and Ignis smiles back. “Yeah, had to be. After all you’ll be going on that trip later today! That means you’ll have to show me where everything is again.”_

“ _You don’t have to – I can finish that when I return.”_

_Noctis pouts. “No, you don’t. I’m gonna be your advisor – I’ll do it. Just tell me where everything is and you can leave together with the king without a worry in the world!”_

_He does as Noctis asks him to, and he does indeed feel like he could truly enjoy this trip for once._

_Though perhaps knowing that Noctis had things under control meant that he could die without a worry in the world. The Daemon up ahead towers over the car it just swatted out of the way, its glinting eyes now fixed on the car Ignis and his retainers were sitting in. If only he could remember how to summon forth weapons._

_Then the world turns._

* * *

If nothing else, he could appreciate the effort Noctis put into trying to cheer him up. Noctis was the only person who managed to get a smile out of the prince these days as he sat there obviously lost in thought, still in that wheelchair. Something had happened in Tenebrae that had changed something about Ignis, and Noctis wasn’t sure what it had been. All of a sudden his friend had become a lot more quiet, apparently brooding.

It wasn’t like Ignis could tell Noctis that he had been born to die – though Lunafreya and High Messenger Gentiana had not once mentioned it, Ignis quickly put one and one together and realised that the Chosen would likely lose everything in the quest to save the world. That was a lot to swallow for an eleven year old boy, and Ignis refused to say what truly ailed him. Still, Noctis attempted to get smiles out of him at any turn, with anything at all.

Eventually Noctis stopped for a day or two, and Ignis almost wanted to ask if he was all right.

He never got to ask, however, because Noctis instead handed him something.

“It’s a good luck charm. My mother gave a similar one to me before she… passed… but! I made you a new one.”

Carbuncle. It was a creature of fairy tales, allegedly protecting the dreams of those who needed it, children especially. Noctis loved that kind of story – Ignis slowly started to understand why. And the gesture was truly touching. He closed his hand around the little crude charm and raised it to his chest.

“I’ll treasure it, Noct. Always.”

After that things started going back to normal. Eventually Ignis’ tutors picked up where they had left off from before his accident and the subsequent trip to Tenebrae, and he quickly caught up with everything. School and studies eventually made Noctis and Ignis meet less and less, but every free minute that he could, Noctis would infallibly arrive at the Citadel to talk about his day, ask about Ignis’ day. Still his smiles seemed to light up the room around him, even when he was talking about how harsh the latest test had been and how Noctis worried about the end result. Not that he ever failed anything – Noctis was on top of his class, most likely because he was a very thorough student and hung with the prince and often the prince’s tutors.

Every day that school and studies kept them apart, Ignis would retrieve that little charm from his drawers. Noctis likely had no idea that he still had it, but it meant a lot to the prince.

Too much, perhaps.

There were a good portion of people who made snide comments about how close prince and advisor were. Ignis almost felt a little bad by venting the anger he accumulated during his fights with Gladiolus, but at least it gave him a chance to let it out. It made not exploding into people’s faces when they glared at him and Noctis easier, even if poor Gladiolus kind of suffered under the vengeful nature of his charge. Not that they ever had a relationship that was anything but professional. They weren’t going to be a pair like Regis and Clarus, fire-forged and close enough that people thought that once King Regis’ time was up Clarus would follow almost immediately. If the Niffs didn’t kill them first.

He didn’t remember who started it. All Ignis remembered now was that he and Noctis truly were too close for comfort.

* * *

“ _I don’t like these arrangements, Ignis.”_

“ _Neither do I, but if it brings Lucis peace, I will do it.”_

“ _Do you even remember her?”_

_He shakes his head as he puts another few clothes into the case. “Barely so. There were… other things I had to worry about. Recovery, most importantly.”_

_Noctis on the bed huffs. “So you’d marry a woman you barely remember for a peace the Niffs will likely never give us?”_

_Ignis stops and brushes a hand over the next shirt he was going to toss in the case. It hurts more than he wants to admit it does – marrying Lunafreya when he and Noctis had been together for no less than two years. But as prince he knew all along that that kind of freedom was never going to be his. Therefore he chooses to shoot a smile at Noctis, even if his advisor can see right through it._

“ _On the off chance that this is not a trap and indeed will end the fighting altogether… yes. Besides, it’s not like you’ll get fired. You’ll still be around.”_

“ _Always, Iggy, always, I made that oath but… it’s not the same.”_

_The prince gets up slowly and walks over to the bed. He puts both his hands on Noctis’ shoulders and slowly leans in until they sit and stand there forehead to forehead._

“ _We’ll manage. I love you – but as prince the things and people I love were never going to be mine. We both knew that.”_

“ _I mean, you’re right,” Noctis whispers as he closes his eyes, “but it still feels like I’ll be losing you.”_

_Noctis has no idea. Ignis knows he’ll never live through whatever events will lead to him banishing the darkness, and it hurts him to the very core of his soul._

_The gods could be so unfair._

_And Lunafreya had preached that they were righteous and good. What good were gods that sacrificed their Chosen and left the survivors to suffer?_

* * *

The future Shield of the King.

The most promising recruit of the Crownsguard.

The advisor.

The prince.

All they were lacking was the disgruntled mechanic and they would have perfectly mirrored his father’s travels. The very thought hurt Ignis to his core and he grimaced. Cid likely realised how similar their set-up was to the one that he had been part of. Cor likely realised the same when they met him at the tomb, and Ignis had nothing to retort to the man.

He was right, of course. With King Regis dead it all fell to Ignis; he was the king now, official coronation or not. While Niflheim had him and his _beloved betrothed_ declared dead, there was absolutely no doubt whatsoever that they were simply using it as an excuse to catch him and execute him for real. Ignis stared at Cor – Cor stared back. They all knew what this meant, and Ignis reached for the weapon with a cold expression.

After that it got easier. Being considered dead made travelling a little easier; he particularly enjoyed roaming the streets of Lestallum with the others when they were strapped for money and about to go look for the nearest billboards. There were plenty of things to do in Lucis, but Ignis thoroughly enjoyed the trips. He even decided to humour Noctis for a day once. Fishing was never something Ignis enjoyed, but they sat there next to one another for a day. A brief respite, and it was comforting to know Noctis was still beside him.

“I’ll be with you, always, after all.”

The peace wouldn’t last. It never did.

The splitting headaches became almost unbearable, reduced him to tears once even. The physical pain did not mix well with the fact that Ignis was very well aware of how his own mental stability was slowly coming undone. The empire had the gall to invade his country, butcher his father and the entire Citadel staff, moved in because it owned the place – and then they tortured a servant to death in front of his grandson without as much as a _shred_ of humanity. The headaches only amplified the extreme stress that had been plaguing Ignis for a while, and that one evening he sobbed in Noctis’ arms as Gladiolus and Prompto did as Noctis told them to.

“Get something cold to eat. A warm drink. Please you two, I have this under control.”

It was Noctis who eventually reached for something in his pockets, and handed it to Ignis. Even though his sight was blurry and distorted from crying and pain, Ignis would have recognised that charm anywhere in the world.

“I… I thought I...”

“Yeah, you wanted to leave it in Insomnia. I went ahead and grabbed it, just in case.”

It was worn and old, brittle even. Still, the fact that Noctis had gone and retrieved it before they left… Ignis wasn’t sure whether to be mad or grateful, but he settled for simply leaning his head against Noctis’ shoulders for a few more minutes before the other two returned.

* * *

_The heat is almost unbearable, but Ignis still glares up at the man on the airship. The empire, those spineless rats – and they had fallen right into the arms of one of them. There had to be something attached to this, and Ignis decided to give him the silent treatment._

_It was Noctis who pulls his sleeve._

“ _Iggy. I know you’re mad – I am too, trust me. But if we stay here we’ll die. We can fight our way out if he tries something, Gladio alone could probably break his neck. But right now we need to accept his help, no matter how shifty he is.”_

_Noctis is right, Prompto mumbles, and Ignis knows it. Still he is more than unhappy to accept help from the empire. No matter how friendly that Ardyn is, now they know to be careful around him, even if he does exactly as he said he would. He drops them off somewhere in the countryside and lets them go, no soldiers or anything else on their trail._

_Ignis hates it, but it is Noctis who reassures him that everything will end up fine. They’ll find the car, Cindy’s on it, Noctis says before planting a soft kiss on Ignis’ lips._

* * *

He opened his eyes, and almost regretted that he did.

“You’re awake?”

“No--”

His words died in his throat as he turned to look at his advisor. Noctis sat there and looked smaller than before somehow, his eyes closed. It wouldn’t have been unusual for Noctis to speak with his eyes closed, apparently woken by something from a nap. But this time Noctis sat straight, alert even – he was wide awake and did not open his eyes.

The horrific scarring was what had knocked the wind out of Ignis’ lungs.

“Glad to have you back with us.” Even Noctis’ voice sounded unusually flat. He stood up slowly, hesitantly. “I’ll go tell the others.”

Ignis already knew that Lunafreya was dead. They had never been close, they had never been happy about the arrangement. The fact that they would have done anything for peace or freedom remained, and she had been a kindred spirit in that regard. Someone who would have given anything to save the world just as she had promised the very day she died her pointless death. If only Ignis had been stronger.

None of this would have happened if he were stronger. His father would still be alive. Lord Clarus would still be alive. Jared, Lunafreya, all those hunters who had gone and looked for royal tombs. It was a miracle that Noctis was alive, but the guilt hit Ignis so hard when his advisor had left his room that all he could do was sit there and weep silently.

If only he hadn’t chosen Noctis as his advisor.

Perhaps he would have lived through the Fall of Insomnia together with his adoptive father. He would have lived, under imperial rule perhaps but he would have lived. Happily even, able to see everything with his eyes that always seemed to sparkle whenever he was amused. Ignis would have traded years of happiness to see Noctis unharmed, but there was nothing he could do. What was done was done, and his father had told him to not turn back. He could not turn back. There was no turning back now, and it numbed him completely. Apathy was how he answered the world and the gods’ callings for the time being, for there was nothing that he could do. He was, quite literally, railroaded into his inevitable demise.

Even as his apathy riled up Gladiolus to the point that his supposed protector verbally lashed out at him, Ignis couldn’t stop it. Noctis had not deserved that.

Gladiolus called him heartless when Ignis suggested that perhaps it would be best to leave Noctis out of the mine exploration group – even though Noctis agreed quietly. He did not want to be a burden, but Gladiolus insisted that they were a group and had to act as one. There was that short movement that Ignis caught; oh he would have loved to be backhanded by his bodyguard right now. Slapped across the face. Perhaps that would make him feel something, anything at all.

When they made camp at the haven there, it was Noctis who eventually broke that veil of apathy for him. It was just a simple gesture, both his hands on Ignis’ cheeks. But something about this was so deeply familiar and gentle that it only made him cry. He cried again after they retrieved the royal arm, after Noctis harshly reprimanded Gladiolus for the way he acted.

“I’ll probably never see again. Doesn’t matter. If it’s too much for me, yes, I’ll stay behind. But stop blaming Ignis for what happened.”

Gladiolus and Prompto left, the former in a huff and the other to make sure that the Shield of the King did not do anything stupid – it left Ignis and Noctis, for the first time in what seemed like forever.

No, the last time they had been on their own together had been in Altissia, after Leviathan, after Ignis woke again. Noctis had asked if it wasn’t wiser to quit while they were ahead – Ignis had nearly slapped him for that suggestion.

“I am… sorry. I’m sorry, Noct.”

“Don’t be.” There was that familiar laugh, the laugh that always made his heart beat faster. The smile that lit up the world around Noctis. “It’s not like you’re the one who did this to me. And before you say that it happened while I was doing my duty as advisor so you might as well have done it yourself – don’t.”

They knew what the other was thinking almost at every moment. Ignis had thought that; it was the fact that Noctis was his advisor that had led to this chain of events that left them walking back to the elevator to get out of the mines together.

“It’s not your fault, Iggy. It never was. It will never be. I would do _anything_ for you. Those were my oaths.”

“...”

“I’ll be with you, always, blind or not. I would have been your shadow in a world where you got married to Lunafreya for peace. I will be your shadow now, always on your trail. My feelings for you absolutely notwithstanding… Your Majesty.”

* * *

_Ten years in the Crystal. Ten years with the Draconian. It doesn’t hit Ignis how long he was gone until he sees the others again. Cor looks so old now. Iris is the same height as her brother, with impressive scarring telling a story that Ignis would never get to hear from her mouth. Prompto looks like the man who created him when he was Prompto’s age now, face shape and all. Gladiolus looks jaded, worn somehow, but still proud._

_Noctis’ smile still lights up the darkness around him, and it almost breaks Ignis’ heart to see him again. The way Noctis forgoes protocol and decency and instead simply wraps his arms around Ignis._

“ _You’re back.”_

_He wouldn’t be for long, and the way Noctis’ expression only seems to mirror Ignis’ resignation, it leaves him wondering if Noctis knows. If Noctis knows the fate of the Chosen… How he is still standing and at least pretending to be positive about defeating Ardyn and casting out the darkness is a complete mystery to Ignis._

_At least they still have some time. It isn’t much._

_Just fleeting touches. Nothing like the Citadel years ago._

_It’s a completely new form of torture, and Ignis wants to yell at the Draconian just as he had when he had first seen the deity._

* * *

It ended in a flash of fire, a swing of a sword. Noctis crumpled to the ground with a surprised wheeze. The sudden and intense panic that surged through Ignis was only amplified when the world around him started to feel colder. It was never Shiva’s intention to shock the Chosen to the core, but still she appeared beside him, stopped him in his tracks. A sad smile was all she shot him before taking care of her beloved, shattering him into hundreds and thousands of tiny pieces.

Ignis broke into a sprint and ran to where Noctis had fallen. Even at age thirty he looks too small for his age, just as he had when they were children. Just as he had when they were teenagers, young adults. At least Gladiolus and Prompto have the decency to say that they will scout the area for Daemons to give Ignis space.

He dropped to his knees next to his beloved, unable to choke back the sob that was bubbling up in his chest. That gash was too deep. Noctis was losing blood too quickly. Still, as Ignis turned him around, all Noctis did was smile. He smiled, and it even seemed to reach his sightless eyes this time.

“Guess I’m… a dirty liar… said I’d be with you… always… and now I…”

“Don’t… don’t speak.”

“I would’ve done anything… to change your fate.” Noctis let out a long sigh. “But… I paid the price for my foolishness, for putting on the ring… and now I won’t be able to… at least ease your suffering… before you have to die for the world… Instead I… amplify it.”

His face was already turning ashen, and Ignis simply sat there crying, unable to say anything else. The Ring of the Lucii on his hands felt so much more heavier than it had ever before. The bane of his family. An instrument of his own death. The very reason Noctis had lost his sight, as Ignis now learned. He put a hand on Noctis’ cheek, and his advisor let out a broken laugh.

“Sorry… Iggy.”

“Don’t apologise.”

“Sorry for… leaving you even though I… swore I wouldn’t.”

It couldn’t have been more than three minutes. Noctis was holding up surprisingly well, but he had said his part now. Ignis sobbed again when Noctis closed his eyes slowly.

“Sorry for… breaking my… oath. I always… loved you. Always… will… Always.”

Ignis screamed into the darkness, trembled as Gladiolus and Prompto returned. Noctis should have walked up these stairs with him. The ring on his finger and the charm in his pocket felt like the burden of the world as Ignis walked into the throne room.

* * *

“ _We will grant you one wish. Your sacrifice will not have been for naught.”_

_Sacrifices._

_With sacrifices came possibilities._

_The Ring of the Lucii and Ardyn were gone. Noctis was gone. But Ignis turns to look at the Draconian, blistering hatred running through his veins. Though perhaps that is simply light._

“ _Turn back time. Reverse our roles. Make Noctis your Chosen, make me his advisor.”_

_A moment of silence. “You would willingly cause the world to fall back into darkness?”_

“ _I don’t care what happens to this world. I don’t care what happens to me. But Noctis did not deserve any of that. Make him your Chosen – I’ll find a way to banish the dark without sacrificing his life. I’ll earn that fairy tale happy ending that Noctis always wanted.”_

_Always._

_Always is such a horrible word._


End file.
